Looking out of the window Watching the rain fall As my heart cries out For something to hold on to
Love turns to anger Anger turns to hate Hate turns the soul To ugly coal black
A reversal process Or maybe not What matter most Is the bleeding of the heart
The mountain shook The earth tremble The sea parts The sky breaks
Where is the security That everyone needs Where is the love In a world full of hate
'I' is the most used letter As if the world revolves around it Why can't there be more 'u' To share the love around
Ideal thinking Results to broken dreams Daydreaming doesn't work In a cold harsh world
Why do I write These hopeless words Where every expects Some love from me
I tell you why The reason for these words The love has been suck out With none returning to me
So now try to figure out What i will do next Perhaps i will fade away Or just scream my existance away
Enough crap from me today. Relax, i won't do anything rash!
Sunday, July 09, 2006
'I got so much things to do. I got to prioritize what is top priority And what level of investment for best results and returns.'
Now that sounds so much like someone trying to work smart. But how would you feel that it was referring to groups of people?
The situation goes like this.. You have different group of people vying for your attention, time and effort. So you have to figure out how to juggle. So how? Prioritize loh. And try and see which one seems more worth the effort. The ones that doesn't seem worth while cut it off. Continue nurturing the ones that seems to be improving/thriving.
We are not commodities!! We are human beings who needs support and guidance from adults.. and no one wants to do it except you...
Or so I thought.
But now when there is merely 5 people going for it, some not so regular ones.. you want to scrape off the whole activity. I tell you frankly... it's low
It means that we are unwanted It means that we are not worth your effort It means that we are not important.
We don't care what you know Until we know that you care.
That is how the youths think. And if you think you can change that particular mindset, i'm telling you, it's not going to work. I am not that affected because I have other people who supports me in my growth outside of church. But don't think everyone has the same luxury and same benefit.
You say so yourself that people need a group to help them stand on their two feet. Human thrive on acceptance. Not only from God, but also from Christians. Are you going to take that away from the very people who are the most suspectible to worldly influence.
I don't get it I don't want to get it I refuse to agree with you
At the end of the day, if you abandon the youths, I will just let things be. I quit championing for them. Twice a month seems too taxing for you though. But it still speaks a lot about your character and working style.
And i resent that youths are seen as things that require best returns and results.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I watched and observe people. And the more I think of it, the more i feel
1) Awkward 2) Weird 3) Terrified
Just imagine that you have thoughts and feelings accumulating in your mind with no one to voice out and no one to talk to. And with your vivid imagination, you start thinking too much, wondering whether you are the cause of it. Or whether someone just finally realised the truth. Or worst, it was your fault that someone has changed.
People move around you, and you wonder whether you made an impact in their lives. And the one thing that you don't wish to observe, you get it. When that happens, you start going mad, and going insane.
I love things black and white. What happened 2 years ago was settled- black and white. I was merely overcoming my grief and hurt of being rejected. Now, it is more greyish. More blackish grey if you ask me. I should never ask the question, and if the answer is a yes, i should never know that as well. But that is the ideal part. No one would know. No one would understand. I might end up setting up the flames again.
I hate uncertaintiy, and it sux.
But why should i feel uncertain when I know the conclusion of the play. Because i don't know how the plot developed that result to that ending.
As long as you continue to be yourself, that's enough
-Shigure Sohma, Fruit Basket-
Never throw your life away.
Touya: There are no such things are coincidences in this world--
Kaho: --there is only the inevitable.
Nothing costs as much as loving-
except not loving
-C.S Lewis, The four loves-
Love is different for everyone, Yahiko.
Among a hundred different people there would be a hundred different forms of love
-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin
Sometimes people forget that they have the courage to live.
But as long as they have something in their hearts to believe in, that courage will never vanish
-Sakura Kinomoto, Tsubasa Chronicles
Regret is just a waste of time for fools
-Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki
Welcome to this illusion I've created. A world of our own, with our rules
-Seishirō Sakurazuka X/1999