Okay, I am going to blog this just once to look back in the future and tell myself I am such a nuthead. It will be a therapeutic process and since not many know about this blog, it should be safe to just be myself. *take in deep breath*
Ben just broke up a few days ago. I should be elated. But I am not. If anything, i wish that he doesn't need to suffer the heartache of breaking up. I just wish... that he would just be happy. I mean, breaking up isn't the end of the world. But it is necessary to go through the pain before learning from it and then emerge stronger.
But i just wish, for something else.. that he does not need to go through it. And it is ridiculous. Maybe what I wish more is that he articulate his feelings and let me know what he is going through right now. That I could be a listening ear for him.
And I can continue wishing for stardust... and pigs to fly.. and cows to come home... Because I know deep inside that I am not significant in his life. I am a passing friend in JC who he meets up once in a while. But now, I don't have much a role to play... not now, not ever.
So wake up and smell the coffee, or tea, or the smell of fresh rain. Don't get caught up with the past. The past doesn't wait for you. Look forward, and smile. Things happen for a reason. If it was meant to be, then so be it. If this is how it ticks, i won't waste my time and energy to stop it.
So wake up dear, your affections, emotions and feelings are for someone else, someone that you will meet in the future.
But for now, I just pray that I would meet a guy who i will spend my entire life with.. I don't think i am strong enough to survive break-up in a relationship
As long as you continue to be yourself, that's enough
-Shigure Sohma, Fruit Basket-
Never throw your life away.
Touya: There are no such things are coincidences in this world--
Kaho: --there is only the inevitable.
Nothing costs as much as loving-
except not loving
-C.S Lewis, The four loves-
Love is different for everyone, Yahiko.
Among a hundred different people there would be a hundred different forms of love
-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin
Sometimes people forget that they have the courage to live.
But as long as they have something in their hearts to believe in, that courage will never vanish
-Sakura Kinomoto, Tsubasa Chronicles
Regret is just a waste of time for fools
-Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki
Welcome to this illusion I've created. A world of our own, with our rules
-Seishirō Sakurazuka X/1999