I experienced alot of drama and a wide range of feelings in my life for the first 2 months. Excitment, serenity, peace, anger, hurt, fury, frustration, faith, disappointment, awe, thanksgiving... and now restlessness.
Pented up energy perhaps. But the strange thing is that I don't know how to release it. Should I play a basketball game or go shopping? Maybe it is because I cannot get anything done. I want to get a bicycle and a vacuum cleaner.. Yet, I haven't gotten any of it. I think procrastination irritates the hell out of me. I have to plan my schedule in order to do what I want, complete a report and revise for my money and banking.
You know.. when you are so determined to just forget about a person, he just appears out of nowhere and just haunt you mercilessly. I just give up. Like, give up. I will remain indifferent towards him. Play whatever game you want. I won't bother anymore. I won't let my mood be affected by you. That was my mistake in the past... and it won't happen again~
So I will be cordial and polite. I might fool you, letting you think that I have past my tantrum stage. I have past that stage. But instead of caring now, I have past the point beyond caring to cool unbothered indifference. Sometimes I will find it difficult to ignore you. However, I firmly believe that you will revert back to your old habits and you will fade away...
Just the way I like it...
Friday, February 06, 2009
If you hurt when you bleed, you know that you are human...
To be forgotten is worse than death
Whatever doesn't breaks you, makes you.
Sometimes the strength of rising from a defeat is stronger than the strength of winning
Random quotes from random places.. These quotes express the mixed emotions that are in my heart. The confusion, fury, sadness, determination, belief, faith...
Foolishness is one of the main emotions that is bombarding me at the moment. Oh how silly of me to throw a tantrum on my own blog. But hey, if I can't do it here, where else can I go to?
For me, it allowed me to articulate my thoughts and ultimately allowed me to see things clearer- to weigh the pros and cons. In the end, I chose the easier way out. Why? Because I have better things to do in my life- better fights to fight, better arguments to debate, better things to do... It is offically time to move on.
By saying it out, I think I allowed myself to let the world know that I am determined to do just that and I am accountable to everyone. So yes, I ranted because I needed to rant and just let it out. It ate me up inside for years and now that I know I will never get an answer, I won't bother searching for one.
So I'm done.
I am looking forward to the basketball match tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a good game and gives me the first hand experience of breathing in the festive air of UO school spirit. Hopefully we get to see the cheerleaders, the jocks and a great match.
Living my life, one day at a time, living it to the fullest. Life is too short to be wasted on regrets, 'what ifs' and anger.
As long as you continue to be yourself, that's enough
-Shigure Sohma, Fruit Basket-
Never throw your life away.
Touya: There are no such things are coincidences in this world--
Kaho: --there is only the inevitable.
Nothing costs as much as loving-
except not loving
-C.S Lewis, The four loves-
Love is different for everyone, Yahiko.
Among a hundred different people there would be a hundred different forms of love
-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin
Sometimes people forget that they have the courage to live.
But as long as they have something in their hearts to believe in, that courage will never vanish
-Sakura Kinomoto, Tsubasa Chronicles
Regret is just a waste of time for fools
-Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki
Welcome to this illusion I've created. A world of our own, with our rules
-Seishirō Sakurazuka X/1999