I just went to my first Frat Party and I kinda danced with a guy... It was just weird. Perhaps the 3 shots of voldka made me a bit crazy but it was.. weird. How do people actually dance around with faceless people.
Yet, when I was dancing there, i felt.. treasured. Sure, I bet he was just trying to find some cheap lay or some heavy petting. But when I was in his arms.. it felt like I am pretty, gorgeous. It doesn't help that I was wearing something rather scandalous for S'pore standard.
But you know what? I rather dance a slow dance with the guy that I love face to face. I know that will be something that I will treasure for life. Going for a thousand hard fast dancing like what I had will only give a weird sense of emptiness in my heart when the music turns off and the alcohol fades away.
It was during this time that I wished that I danced with someone I like and really love. Two faces came into my head. One was a French guy that is quite cute. The other one is so out of reach that I think I conveniently forgot his name.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I am just torned.
Here I was, pledging indifference towards him. Yet within a month, I am chatting with him at a regular basis when I see him on facebook. And I just impulsively asked him to go shopping together when I'm back in Singapore.
Why do you put yourself through this pain? You are no where better than Careen sometimes... clinging on an invisible rope that perhaps something happens. Just wake up and move on. There are many more that will come your way. You will find him one day. Don't get hung up by those eye candies that you have no clue about.
Even if he becomes your friend... remember that you aren't the type of girl that he will go for. After all, it is going to be the fifth year since that fateful day. If you have been around that long and he paid no attention to you, then get the hint- JUST MOVE IT!
I think I just have to shut my romantic side down and just be chill. Stop wasting your time and energy on him. You have better things to do... Like studying and enjoying your time in USA...
As long as you continue to be yourself, that's enough
-Shigure Sohma, Fruit Basket-
Never throw your life away.
Touya: There are no such things are coincidences in this world--
Kaho: --there is only the inevitable.
Nothing costs as much as loving-
except not loving
-C.S Lewis, The four loves-
Love is different for everyone, Yahiko.
Among a hundred different people there would be a hundred different forms of love
-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin
Sometimes people forget that they have the courage to live.
But as long as they have something in their hearts to believe in, that courage will never vanish
-Sakura Kinomoto, Tsubasa Chronicles
Regret is just a waste of time for fools
-Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki
Welcome to this illusion I've created. A world of our own, with our rules
-Seishirō Sakurazuka X/1999